Sarah becomes a barmaid.

" 2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps? Course you can my love... Whats that? Get one for myself? Oh, I don't mind if I do!"

Back to reality...

"I'll have my usual love"
"Erm, I don't know your usual. It's my first shift." *Smile with dimple shot - always works*
"What?"
"I'm new..."
"What?" *Shouts over to Christine (Imagine a female Harry Potter)* "Christine, get us my usual wont you?"
"No, I can do it, just let me know and I'll try remember for next time..."
"Right well, its a Tess, a Barbara and a Me..."
"And they are?"
"Well I can't remember. Christine!?"

To top it all off, I spend my 4 hour shift on a Sunday on the bar overlooking the bingo. Theres a "rush" (of about 5 customers) every 15 minutes during the quick break, with everyone being very impatient with you when all they want is their drinks to get back to win the rollover jackpot of £4.50. The bingo caller sounds as nasally in real life ordering a pint as he does through an unnecesary microphone, bellowing numbers in his half Lancastrian, half "showman from Las Vegas" American accent. Whilst all this is going on, the crazy man I used to serve at my old restaurant job ("ooh, steak. I'll have steak! ooh, how EXCITING!!".. It was a steakhouse...) is playing the organ on a makeshift stage and encouraging the taking part of ballroom dancing.

My first shift last week was mainly spent wide eyed, just staring at the collection of old age pensioners switching from feeling happy that they still get out and have a bit of fun and feeling sad that they probably have been doing this week in, week out for the past 40 years. Christine was sat on one of the barrels reading the magazine supplement from the Sunday newspaper andd not even batting an eyelid when an old chap ordered a pint of "day and night." Now, a day and night, all you beer fans, is half a pint of light mild and half a pint of dark mild which theoretically is just a pint of normal smooth which is the pump inbetween the two... *Sarcastic raise of the eyebrows.*
Heigh ho. Back to it tonight...

Try and top that anecdote from a summer job.
Go on, I dare you.