Blogging.

I have a new job.
Blogging for Edge Hill to make people come to the uni.
I get paid.
I think that sounds like a fair deal to me :)

I got flowers today

and I don't even care that I have hayfever.
I love them
I am in love
and everything is all happy.

I know you've missed me

Wow.
It's been a while since I wrote a blog which contained so much knowledge and awesomeness that you might have exploded.
Well, I've hope you've recovered from my last post as I'm gonna hit you with another one.

I stopped the weird but amazing job at the working mens club after just 4 weeks as I had to move back to uni and work a lot more hours up there. I enjoyed it so much that I offered to work New Year and any time that I would be back home and they seemed genuinely grateful for it. I came home home (the only way I can differenciate Blackpool and Ormskirk) last week to a beautifully written P45 from said job. Brilliant. I guess I should take the hint?

I've been working nonstop since I came back mid-august, working on the clearing phone lines and also as a session leader for a few sixth form inductions that were taking place on campus, it was hard work but nice and rewarding (and even more rewarding when payday comes on Thursday!)

Boring boring boring.
"What has she done thats been embarrassing and undoubtedly cheer me up?!" I hear you cry.

Well, I joined the gym... Anyone that knows me is aware that I regularly trip up walking on very even surfaces so I think that statement doesn't need much explaining.

Ahh what else?

I caused an elderly lady to be hit on the head with a 6 pack of prawn cocktail crisps in Morrisons the other day.
I said sorry and commented on how lucky she was - we could've met in the tinned beans aisle.


Uni starts tomorrow. Had a slight panic attack today when I realised I will be a 3rd year. And I'll have a degree soon. Unless I sleep my way through until June. Which is looking increasingly appealing...



Also, I think I will mention how lovely (forwardslash crazy) my boyfriend is for putting up with me for a whole entire year. :) <3

Also

Just added my twitter things (also known as 'tweets' ;) ) to... wait till you hear this... my blog! Crazy stuff. So you out there, yes you ms/mr stalker who reads my blog but doesn't post comments... ah yes you know who you are (please let there be at least one) can now follow my ramblings and moans on Twitter!
Lucky you!!

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Towards the end, this book became such a page turner that I had a sleepless night because of it.
I'm already on the sequel and found it much easier to get "into" it, as they say.
Then I wondered if I actually enjoyed the first book at all and whether it was just down to the "hype" and publicity the triliogy had gotten (although, I admit, I hate myself for 'following the trend')
I'm not really a massive fan of crime novels but I couldn't help but feel a bit, cheated, no... sceptical of how the events turned out. I know its fiction (supposedly...) but I never quite believed it.
Was I being too harsh?
I can't work this one out.


Anyone else read it?

Sarah becomes a barmaid.

" 2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps? Course you can my love... Whats that? Get one for myself? Oh, I don't mind if I do!"

Back to reality...

"I'll have my usual love"
"Erm, I don't know your usual. It's my first shift." *Smile with dimple shot - always works*
"What?"
"I'm new..."
"What?" *Shouts over to Christine (Imagine a female Harry Potter)* "Christine, get us my usual wont you?"
"No, I can do it, just let me know and I'll try remember for next time..."
"Right well, its a Tess, a Barbara and a Me..."
"And they are?"
"Well I can't remember. Christine!?"

To top it all off, I spend my 4 hour shift on a Sunday on the bar overlooking the bingo. Theres a "rush" (of about 5 customers) every 15 minutes during the quick break, with everyone being very impatient with you when all they want is their drinks to get back to win the rollover jackpot of £4.50. The bingo caller sounds as nasally in real life ordering a pint as he does through an unnecesary microphone, bellowing numbers in his half Lancastrian, half "showman from Las Vegas" American accent. Whilst all this is going on, the crazy man I used to serve at my old restaurant job ("ooh, steak. I'll have steak! ooh, how EXCITING!!".. It was a steakhouse...) is playing the organ on a makeshift stage and encouraging the taking part of ballroom dancing.

My first shift last week was mainly spent wide eyed, just staring at the collection of old age pensioners switching from feeling happy that they still get out and have a bit of fun and feeling sad that they probably have been doing this week in, week out for the past 40 years. Christine was sat on one of the barrels reading the magazine supplement from the Sunday newspaper andd not even batting an eyelid when an old chap ordered a pint of "day and night." Now, a day and night, all you beer fans, is half a pint of light mild and half a pint of dark mild which theoretically is just a pint of normal smooth which is the pump inbetween the two... *Sarcastic raise of the eyebrows.*
Heigh ho. Back to it tonight...

Try and top that anecdote from a summer job.
Go on, I dare you.

I wish I lived in a fairy tale.

http://collectiveexperience.org/love/love.html

I love how words can evoke so many emotions and meanings.
I love cliches.

I just came across this site, reminds me a bit of postsecret.com. People just expressing how they feel. I think it's the most powerful thing. A hopeless romantic? Maybe.

I wish it was a piece of lettuce stuck to the roof of my mouth...

...it was a layer of skin instead. Oh lovely.
I also managed to flash my knickers to just about everyone I walked past today in the village thanks to the bad combination of a cotton dress and the sea breeze.
Oh, and I managed to go for lunch in the place who declined work for me this summer (despite working for them for years) and would've looked less desperate and bitter if I had gone in there on my hands and knees, begging for shifts.
I can't even have my daily 2.30 brew either, my mouth hurts.
Right, I'm staying in from now on. I'm safer.

I'm not a hypochondriac but...

...doctors don't know anything.

I went on the NHS Direct website, I almost definitely had pneumonia, not "stress related coughing that would benefit from some 'relaxation techniques'." Stupid lady. So then I made a brew and everything was alright again until I started to rethink about our conversation and started thinking about what I should have said;
"Yeah, lady, I do have history of anxiety attacks but I also have history of falling over quite a lot, how does this have any relation to a chest infection?"
She even had the cheek to cough during our 'meeting'. Maybe I should have diagnosed her based on her sexual history and told her that her cough would benefit from a bit more lovin' three times a day.

I really hate her.
But I'm over it, 'cos Hogan Knows Best is on and I have mint choc chip ice cream.
*cough*
Shit, where's my yoga DVD?

Cottage Cheese with Chives

is so good, I made up a dance for it.

Sleep is overrated

fall

verb, fell, fall·en, fall·ing, noun

58.

fall for, Slang .

a.

to be deceived by: Imagine falling for such an old trick.

b.

to fall in love with: He's not at all the type I would expect her to fall for.

blind

adjective, -er,, -est, verb, noun, adjective
noun, adverb

4.

not having or based on reason or intelligence; absolute and unquestioning: She had blind faith in his fidelity.

id·i·ot

-noun

1.
an utterly foolish or senseless person

–noun1.

love

noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

–noun

13.

Chiefly Tennis . a score of zero; nothing.

14.

a word formally used in communications to represent the letter L.

Cabin Fever

Since I have finished my second year at university just 5 days ago (which is something I have been anticipating since the beginning of second year) I have:
- Caught up with Lost
- Cleaned the house and realised that the grill is actually supposed to be silver and not black...
- Eaten a 10 pack of Walker's crisps
- Made food especially to eat whilst watching Come Dine With Me and pretended I was a top food critic
- Organised my wardrobe in order of colour
- Made sure all of the coathangers in wardrobe are the right way round
- Lost the majority of all second year work in a mad frenzy of "tidying"
- Watched BBC news 24 for nearly 24 hours (mainly to see when David Dimbleby was going to crack up on election night)
- Dyed my hair and immediately regretted the decision
-"Fake tanned" and felt in a similar way about the hair colour.
- Checked account balance x20 in one day for hope of sudden inheritance


I'm not a complete lazy arse, I have a job. It's just effort to get the 1 hour train journey home to start it for the summer. So I'll carry on complaining about this boredom.

Don't feed ducks on a Monday. They're incredibly hungry. Also, geese are not your friend.

When I was 7 years old, I made the tooth fairy my bitch.

"Dear Tooth Fairy,
Normally, I write these letters to you to apologise for not leaving my tooth under the pillow because I either accidently spat it down the plughole when brushing my teeth/ choked on it when laughing/ lost it when pretending I was an archaeologist.
Tonight is no exception. You see, last Friday, I promised Gemma Longhurst that I would have a light up yo-yo by monday in exchange for borrowing her Spiceworld:The Movie VHS for the night. I was sure that over the weekend I could waggle my way out of a tooth for a shiny pound that I could get my yo-yo with and practice my mean 'walk the dog.' I must have waggled too much because when I woke up this Sunday morning, I had swallowed the little gem in my sleep. Please could you forgive me and come visit me tonight so I can make a trip to the shop before school tomorrow?
Lots of love,
Sarah Leanne Nicholson (aged 7)

p.s Lily Dixon gets a whole 2 pounds EACH for her teeth. Why don't I Tinkerbell the Tooth Fairy? Don't worry if you don't have the change tonight, I'll have a little present instead.

p.p.s Please please please will you ask Zac Morris to marry me? I love him soooooo much. Kelly Kapowski is ugly.



True story.
I had to have "the talk" with my parents after this one.